Each individual action and reaction is connected to your moods, attitudes, and behavior. Is your attitude affected positively when someone makes an effort to be either nice or helpful or both toward you? You may not feel it directly, but your mood and behavior is affected by others constantly.
Likewise, when someone is rude or mean to you, your attitude and behavior is affected negatively or even defensively. You either get into a bad mood or try to get even. Either be lived in the feel good frame of mind? Just think then how your words and actions toward other affect them. They do.
In his book How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less, author Nicholas Boothman discusses two very important concepts that fall in line with inter connectedness. One, in dealing with others, you can have a really useful attitude and be kind, polite, and helpful, or you can have a really useless attitude and be rude, abrupt, and self-centered. Which one will have the more favorable outcome for you in most cases? Again, actions, attitudes, and outcomes are connected and related.
The second important concept that I want to share from Boothman, is the KFC method. Simply stated, know what you want, find out what you are getting, and change what you do until you get what you want. Your actions directly affect what happens to you and how people perceive you. If you know that you want to have friends and be liked, then find out what your friendship status looks like, and change what you do until achieving the desired status.
Your words, discussion, and interactions with other people are not isolated incidents that have no further affect on you or others. Instead, your every action and inaction helps to determine what your future will look like. Your now is connected and related to your future and your now is connected to your past.
Good works, kind words, and acts of service are investments in your better future. Arguments, getting even, and self centeredness are investments in a more troubled future. All of what you do and say is connected and related and it is wise to carefully choose your words and actions.
As Boothman claims, if you know what you want, then do the things that you need to do to get there. Make the daily and continuous investments to get to where you want to be. It may sound like an over-used cliché but the longest journey does start with the first step.
Showing posts with label Nicholas Boothman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nicholas Boothman. Show all posts
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
Connecting and Networking
How can you connect with new people? I have found two excellent coaches on that subject. Shawna Schuh gives seminars, writes books, and offers audio and video programs that can help you to connect with people in a very positive way. Get one of her books or attend one of her seminars and study what she suggests. Her advice will help anyone to connect better with others. This is an ongoing educational process and Shawna can help you.
The author of How to Connect With Anyone in 90 Seconds, Nicholas Boothman, offers great advise and insight into making the best impression with others to help you improve your life. Study what he offers because it will work for you. This too is an ongoing educational process that requires you to work at it.
When studying various authors on social interaction, we must be open- minded. It may be difficult at first to understand or accept a given coach’s advice. We may feel that we already know better. My best advice on that is to work at being open to the coaching.
Why do you want to connect with people anyway? Well, for many reasons not the least of which it makes life so much more interesting. If you are the type of person who wishes that you could interact better with people, who sees others interacting in social settings that are attractive to you, then this is for you. Connecting and interacting is a gift for some. Having an outgoing nature and gift of gab comes easy for many people and they can use this gift to their advantage.
If you don’t have it, you can acquire some degree of skill interacting and networking if you choose to work at it. Another great audio program that I have listened to repeatedly is by author and trainer Leil Lownes. 62 Tips on Connecting With Anyone is full of great suggestions on how you can improve your interpersonal skills and begin connecting with people in a very positive way right away. However, this type of training is again part of your lifelong educational process. Half of the battle is admitting that you need help in this area. The other half is getting that help.
In this program, Lownes offers many suggestions that apply to a wide variety of settings and situations for connecting with people. Again, as a student of this program, one must be very open even to suggestions that appear a bit uncomfortable.
In addition to the two audio programs that I recommend, I also recommend that you look into Dale Carnegie courses or Toastmasters International for help in all areas of interpersonal interaction. This includes confidence building in social situations as well as in public speaking. Whether you are speaking to a large crowd or a small group, it is still public speaking and you can get help in this area if you choose to do so. This is all included in your commitment to lifelong learning.
The author of How to Connect With Anyone in 90 Seconds, Nicholas Boothman, offers great advise and insight into making the best impression with others to help you improve your life. Study what he offers because it will work for you. This too is an ongoing educational process that requires you to work at it.
When studying various authors on social interaction, we must be open- minded. It may be difficult at first to understand or accept a given coach’s advice. We may feel that we already know better. My best advice on that is to work at being open to the coaching.
Why do you want to connect with people anyway? Well, for many reasons not the least of which it makes life so much more interesting. If you are the type of person who wishes that you could interact better with people, who sees others interacting in social settings that are attractive to you, then this is for you. Connecting and interacting is a gift for some. Having an outgoing nature and gift of gab comes easy for many people and they can use this gift to their advantage.
If you don’t have it, you can acquire some degree of skill interacting and networking if you choose to work at it. Another great audio program that I have listened to repeatedly is by author and trainer Leil Lownes. 62 Tips on Connecting With Anyone is full of great suggestions on how you can improve your interpersonal skills and begin connecting with people in a very positive way right away. However, this type of training is again part of your lifelong educational process. Half of the battle is admitting that you need help in this area. The other half is getting that help.
In this program, Lownes offers many suggestions that apply to a wide variety of settings and situations for connecting with people. Again, as a student of this program, one must be very open even to suggestions that appear a bit uncomfortable.
In addition to the two audio programs that I recommend, I also recommend that you look into Dale Carnegie courses or Toastmasters International for help in all areas of interpersonal interaction. This includes confidence building in social situations as well as in public speaking. Whether you are speaking to a large crowd or a small group, it is still public speaking and you can get help in this area if you choose to do so. This is all included in your commitment to lifelong learning.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Congruity in Communication
Author, Nicholas Boothman, reminds us in his book "How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less," that congruity in communication is essential to making connections. By this he means that your words, voice tone, and body language must all be saying the same thing to be believed.
Consider the facial expressions and voice tones that you use in communicating to others and make sure that your tones and body language back up the content of what you are saying. If you just act naturally, congruity should follow. Be careful to limit sarcasm which, by definition, mixes opposite messages sent through words and tone.
To create a sense of openness, work on establishing a posture and tonality of honesty and empathy. Concentrate on making the communication about the idea and not about yourself. Make people like you by following the advice found in Boothman's book.
Consider the facial expressions and voice tones that you use in communicating to others and make sure that your tones and body language back up the content of what you are saying. If you just act naturally, congruity should follow. Be careful to limit sarcasm which, by definition, mixes opposite messages sent through words and tone.
To create a sense of openness, work on establishing a posture and tonality of honesty and empathy. Concentrate on making the communication about the idea and not about yourself. Make people like you by following the advice found in Boothman's book.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Missed Opportunities
One of my favorite audio books is "How to Connect in Business in 90 Seconds" by Nicholas Boothman. I have listened to it again and again.
Boothman speaks of missing opportunities by simply not acknowledging other people. We come in contact with friends, aquanitenances, co-workers, and strangers regularly. If we choose to keep our heads down and not make eye contact, we are missing opportunities.
My simply making some effort to connect, you may just be missing that special opportunity to make things happen. Perhaps in a casual conversation struck in in place of the otherwise silent encounter, you may discover that you have a solution to one of their problems. Likewise, they may say one simple thing that unlocks a key idea for you socially, business-wise, or otherwise. Everyone who you encounter has the potential to make a contribution to you or receive one from you.
I can't really understand why a clerk in a store, waitress, or co-worker would choose to look away and not make any attempt to connect when the opportunity exists. Is it shyness, lack of confidence, disinterest, anger? Any and all of these block us from making that connection.
Everyone make an effort. The results will be favorable.
Boothman speaks of missing opportunities by simply not acknowledging other people. We come in contact with friends, aquanitenances, co-workers, and strangers regularly. If we choose to keep our heads down and not make eye contact, we are missing opportunities.
My simply making some effort to connect, you may just be missing that special opportunity to make things happen. Perhaps in a casual conversation struck in in place of the otherwise silent encounter, you may discover that you have a solution to one of their problems. Likewise, they may say one simple thing that unlocks a key idea for you socially, business-wise, or otherwise. Everyone who you encounter has the potential to make a contribution to you or receive one from you.
I can't really understand why a clerk in a store, waitress, or co-worker would choose to look away and not make any attempt to connect when the opportunity exists. Is it shyness, lack of confidence, disinterest, anger? Any and all of these block us from making that connection.
Everyone make an effort. The results will be favorable.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Connecting
Actually, everything you are exposed to every day has educational value. Every conversation that you have with peers, coworkers, friends, colleagues, customers, and even strangers offers you an opportunity for you to learn and to compare what you learn to what you know. As for strangers, every encounter you have with a stranger has potential unless the stranger is just not approachable or just undesirable.
How can you connect with new people? I have found two excellent coaches on that subject. Shawna Shue gives seminars, writes books, and offers audio and video programs that can help you to connect with people in a very positive way. Get one of her books or attend one of her seminars and study what she suggests. Her advice will help anyone to connect better with others. This is an ongoing educational process and Shawna can help you.
The author of How to Connect With Anyone in 90 Seconds, Nicholas Boothman, offers great advise and insight into making the best impression with others to help you improve your life. Study what he offers because it will work for you. This too is an ongoing educational process that requires you to work at it.
How can you connect with new people? I have found two excellent coaches on that subject. Shawna Shue gives seminars, writes books, and offers audio and video programs that can help you to connect with people in a very positive way. Get one of her books or attend one of her seminars and study what she suggests. Her advice will help anyone to connect better with others. This is an ongoing educational process and Shawna can help you.
The author of How to Connect With Anyone in 90 Seconds, Nicholas Boothman, offers great advise and insight into making the best impression with others to help you improve your life. Study what he offers because it will work for you. This too is an ongoing educational process that requires you to work at it.
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