How Important is Making Connections Anyway?

I have re-listened to a CD program from motivation and etiquette expert Shawana Schuh and having done so, remembered so many things that I learned the first time and when I attended one of her seminars. The title of this program is Connecting in a Disconnected World.

She gives so much great advice in this session that it is very difficult to summarize even the most important parts. However, one theme keeps recurring with regard to making connections and that is "make it about them, not yourself." Whether you are connecting with customers or connecting with friends, it is alway more connecting to focus on other and not yourself.

Putting the focus on other involves all communication that you do both verbal and non-verbal. If you always place others first, you will be a desired communication partner. If you make it about them, you both win.

If you would like to learn more about Shawna, just go to her website at http://www.shawnaschuh.com/ and you will find some resources there. If you are interested in working on yourself, one of the best observations that I can make is to check out the advice of Shawana Schuh.

Three Cs of dressing for connecting

One of my favorite advisers is Schawna Shuh. She is a professional speaker and author who gives motivational advice. One of her segments is about dressing to make connections in business and she refers to it as the three C's.

First is color and we should all use color in our wardrobes when we are tring to make a positive impression. After all, our outfit and our appearance is for the benefit of others who see us. Therefore, using cheerful colors is a positive for others.

The second C is comfortable. Your clothing should be comfortable for the situation. Your selection of your outfit should be appropriate for your current engagement whatever that might be. Nobody should be made to feel uncomfortable because of what you are wearing.

And the final C is for cover up. In a business or formal situation, it is always best to do so. This is fairly self explanatory. All of this advice is designed to help individuals to connect better with others in both business and professional situations.

You Don't Have to be Negatively Influenced

Don't take this the wrong way. At one time, in my younger years, I was much more opened to being negatively influenced. Now I know that I don't have to be.

At one time, I thought that I must try to fit in. Now I know that I don't have to. I say, don't take this the wrong way because it doesn't mean that I don't like you. It just means that I don't have to be influenced by you.

Maybe it is just a matter of having some self confidence and self esteem. Maybe it is a part of being older and wiser. I can be nice to everyone and I can socialize with anyone, but I don't have to be anyone but myself.

I guess that part of improving self confidence is knowing that I am ok and I don't need to fit in. I don't need to change and I don't need to act or think like anyone in order to get along with them.

Therefore, I can avoid the influences of others that I consider to be negative without avoiding anyone. Perhaps, I can even positively influnce someone else in return.

Talent, Passion, and Commitment

We use the term passion quite a bit to describe an attitude or approach to your respnsibility. Passion can be defined as an intense, compelling feeling or enthusiasm or desire.

We all have talents at something and when we try to accomplish something either professionally or personally, we use our talents to help us to get there. Where talent leaves off, passion should take over. Where passion is limited, commitment kicks in.

I believe that it takes all three to have sustained success at anything. Use your talents wisely to attain your goal. Be both passionate and comitted and success should come your way.

Working on your interpersonal skills

It seems to me that working on your interpersonal communication skills are more important now than ever. I encounter a lot of people and I am always impressed and take quick notice of anyone with good interpersonal skills.

On the other hand, a person with poor interpersonal skills also stands out in the crowd by their shortcomings.

The reason that I claim that it is more important that ever is that social media offer such abundant opportunity to communicate UN-personally that we lose touch with the ability to interact. In fact, some youngsters may not learn such skills because they are growing up with social media.

Make it a point to work at connecting in your professional and personal life.

Do I really have to choose?

I used to be very interested in politics and the whole political process. Having followed presidential politcs for decades, I have at times taken both sides. There was a time when both parties, Republican and Democrat had a lot to offer. Things have changed.

Is it true that all Democrats are liberal and all Republicas are conservative? Can I be conservative on moral issues and liberal on social issues? Can I care about the poor and still be pro-life? The answer is an undeniable YES. I really don't have to choose all of the policies of one party or the other. I don't have to agree with some issues of one party and need to defend that party overall.

I used to be very interested in presidential politics. It is no longer interesting. I will choose to believe and support whatever beliefs that I choose without regard to party lines. America is still a great country. I hope that we can get back to the two-party system that chose to serve the needs of all Americans. It is no longer interesting.

Advice for selling ... advice for life

Author, Jaynie L. Smith has written a very helpful book on selling titled Relevant Selling. She advises all sales entities to know what their customers want and like about what the seller is selling. In other words, a sales organization should know which values that their customers percieve to be the most valuable.

Smith advises companies to do blind surveys to their customers to learn what values are most valued. This is great advice because a sales person can promote and highlight certain attributes of their product or service offering without even knowing whether the customer thinks that those attributes are important.

For example, a travel agent could advertise and promote the fact that they have received awards for their work. On the other hand, their customers may be most interested in the experience of the agents and the commission rate. So, they really don't care about the awards. A roofer may brag that they only carry the highest quality materials, while the prospects may be most concerned about pricing and mostly interested in middle-range materials. It helps to know what the customer values and wants.

The same is true in every aspect of life. In order to nurture any relationship, it helps to know what your family, friends, and acquaintances really value and want. What good is it if you are funny when everyone wants friendly? What good is it if you are rich and eveyone wants compassionate? It helps to know what others value.